The Art of Conversation ：Change Your Life with Confident Communication

Publication subTitle ：Change Your Life with Confident Communication

Author： Judy Apps  

Publisher： John Wiley & Sons Inc‎

Publication year： 2014

E-ISBN: 9780857085405

P-ISBN(Hardback):  9780857085382

Subject： F2 Economic Planning and Management

Language： ENG

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Description

Good conversation is at the heart of networking, meetings, interviews, negotiations and raising your profile. It can ease your way in work, enabling you to build alliances, create strong relationships with staff, bosses and clients, succeed at interviews, motivate and inspire.

But conversation is something most of us were never taught! We learn to speak as babies, but how conversation actually works is something most of us pick up only haphazardly, and many have yet to learn. Why is it some of us are stuck for words, but others blabber or can’t stop? What is it that some people have naturally which enables them to converse comfortably and easily, to engage people and build better relationships?

The Art of Conversation will show you step by step how to converse skillfully and enjoyably with other people, at home, at work, on the phone and in the street- even if you’re daunted now, discover the difference good conversation can make in every aspect of your life. Learn to:

-Overcome the most common block to good conversation- fear; find out how to break the silence and keep the conversation going

- Understand the different types of conversation and how they work- which topics and language are suitable for the occasion

- Learn simple methods for being heard and understood, including speaking clearly and audibly, listening well and using non-verbal communication

- Find out how to hold a conversation in tricky situations, including how to disagree, how to speak to those in authority and people you find difficult

-Use conversation to form relationships, improve friendships, make the sale, chat people up, to learn, influence and persuade.

Chapter

Cover

Endorsements

Title page

Copyright page

Contents

Preface

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Part One: Introducing Conversation

1: The Dance of Conversation

1.1 A dance for two

A Subtle Human Art

1.2 The traditional “conversationalist”

Cicero’s Summary

1.3 What’s conversation for?

2: Connecting Is What Matters Most

2.1 Conversational drains

Enthuso-bore

Robo-chore

Echo-bore

The Ego-bore

Queen of Gossip

Moaning MICKEY and Minnie

2.2 Finding common ground

Favourite Objects of Attention

2.3 Finding a common language

2.4 Non-verbal connection

Body Language

Voice Tone

2.5 Energetic connection

2.6 Flexibility

Going with the Flow

Breaking Connection

Dealing with “Drains”

3: Getting in the Right State

3.1 Managing your state

Breathe

Move

3.2 Collecting positive states

3.3 Staying present and aware

Focusing Outside Yourself

Dealing with Silence

3.4 Curiosity

3.5 Trusting yourself and others

4: Getting a Conversation Going – the Basics

4.1 Breaking the silence

Make a Comment

Float in a Simple Question

Try a Comment Followed by a Question

Introduce Yourself Positively

4.2 Keeping the conversation going

Adding a Little Extra

Taking It Gently

Open Questions

Changing the Subject

4.3 Stories

Dropping Conversational Clues – and Picking Them Up

5: Listening

5.1 How well do you listen?

5.2 What can happen instead of listening

Rehearsing your own piece

Daydreaming

Pretending to listen

Non-listening

Filtering the communication

Judgement

Playing the psychiatrist

Reassuring or diverting

5.3 How to listen well

Show that you’re listening

5.4 Freeing yourself to listen

5.5 Deep listening

Part Two: The Power of Conversation

6: Influencing a Conversation

6.1 Know your intention

Specific outcomes

Values as intention

6.2 Leading through connection

6.3 Creating positive movement

6.4 Influence can be as gentle as a story

7: Different Kinds of Conversation

7.1 Thing talk

7.2 Action talk

The art of small talk

7.3 Head talk

Capabilities

Exchange of ideas

Exchange of opinions

Wit

7.4 Heart talk

Emotional support

Intimate conversation

Risk taking

7.5 Soul talk

Seeing someone for who they really are

Communication beyond words

Generative conversations

7.6 Progressing through talk-types

8: Expressing Yourself

8.1 Expressing you – voice

Be heard and understood

Speak with flow

Getting rid of useless fillers

Expressing interest and sounding interesting

Rapport

8.2 Expressing you – body language

8.3 Expressing you – your emotions

Influencing with your emotions

8.4 Expressing the real you

Part Three: Sailing Through Tricky Waters

9: What to Do If You’re Stuck

9.1 Find a positive state of mind

9.2 Stop faking it

9.3 Slow down

9.4 Know the rules of the game

9.5 Being flexible

10: Oiling the Wheels

10.1 Comment on what you’ve already heard

10.2 Encouraging nods and grunts

11: Role Playing

12: Spotting the Games People Play

12.1 The status game

12.2 The manipulation game

12.3 Old games

12.4 Naming the game

13: Enjoying Disagreement

14: Confrontation

14.1 Handling feelings with skill

14.2 Checking your assumptions

14.3 Taking the initiative

Part Four: Creative Conversations

15: Changing the World One Conversation at a Time

15.1 Scientific advances

15.2 Political change

15.3 Voice of the people

15.4 One personal conversation at a time

About the Author

Image Credits

Index

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