Chapter
BEING LOVED AND FEELING LOVED
THE LITTLE CHILD WITHIN US
YOUR RELATIONSHIP’S PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURES
THE INTERACTION EFFECT OF YOUR PASTS
DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS AND LIVING PARALLEL LIVES
RECYCLING ONE’S ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP HISTORY
Chapter Four RELATIONSHIP ANALYSIS
QUESTIONS WE ASK OURSELVES
SITUATIONAL ISSUES AND RELATIONSHIP ISSUES
CHARACTERISTICS OF AN IDEAL RELATIONSHIP
CAPACITIES AND POTENTIALS
WHAT YOU WANT AND WHAT HE/SHE NEEDS
NURSE-PATIENT RELATIONSHIPS
THE LIGHTNING ROD IN A RELATIONSHIP
THE PIECES OF MY LIFE YOU WANT
Chapter Five CONGRUENCE AND BALANCE
THE A, B, C'S OF LOVING RELATIONSHIPS
LINKAGES: FEELINGS, THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS
NEW EXPERIENCES – OLD FEELINGS
THINK IT, FEEL IT, AND DO IT
Chapter Six OUTSIDE FACTORS AND FEATURES
Chapter Seven OTHER PEOPLE
A THIRD PERSON IN A TWO-SEATER
Chapter Eight NEEDS AND WANTS
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN NEEDS AND WANTS
MEETING MY NEEDS AND WANTS
MATCHING OUR ROLES WITH OUR NEEDS
IN OR OUTSIDE THE RELATIONSHIP
OVER-ESTIMATING OUR EXPECTATIONS OF EACH OTHER
Chapter Nine EXPECTATIONS AND DEPENDENCE
WHAT ARE YOUR EXPECTATIONS
LET OTHERS KNOW WHAT YOU EXPECT
CO-, IN-, AND INTER-DEPENDENCE
Chapter Ten BOUNDARIES AND CONTROL
VALUES: FOUNDATIONS FOR BOUNDARIES
NEGOTIATING BOUNDARIES AND LIMITS
FUNCTIONAL AND DYSFUNCTIONAL CONTROLS
ACTIVE AND PASSIVE CONTROL
INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL CONTROL
Chapter Eleven LIFESTYLES
INDIVIDUAL LIFESTYLES AND RELATIONSHIP LIFESTYLES
FUNCTIONAL AND DYSFUNCTIONAL LIFESTYLES
CONTROL YOUR RELATIONSHIP LIFESTYLE
Chapter Twelve MONETARY AND EQUITY ISSUES
MONETARY AND EQUITY ISSUES THAT COUPLES IN LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS NEED TO PAY ATTENTION TO
Chapter Thirteen PROBLEMS
MAKING PROBLEMS LESS PROBLEMATIC
Chapter Fourteen RELATIONSHIP SKILLS
ESTABLISHING, MAINTAINING AND ENDING SKILLS
During the Establishing Stage:
During the Maintenance Stage:
EMPATHY (LISTENING) SKILLS
IMPORTANCE OF COPING SKILLS
Chapter Fifteen SEEING A PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR, THERAPIST OR FAMILY MEDIATOR
SEEKING PROFESSIONAL HELP
ONE THERAPIST, ONE CLIENT
BE YOUR BEST TO GIVE YOUR BEST
REAL VERSUS SOCIAL RECOVERY
Chapter Sixteen HOW A PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR, THERAPIST OR FAMILY MEDIATOR CAN BE HELPFUL TO YOU
RESPONSIBILITY: CAUSE ⇔ CURE; PAST ⇔ FUTURE
APPRECIATION AND UNDERSTANDING
I COULD DO – YOU COULD DO
ANALYZE THE LOVE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
STRUCTURE YOUR SCHEDULE, INCLUDING TIME FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL VACATIONS
MEDIATION AS AN ALTERNATIVE TO COUNSELING AND THERAPY
BENEFITS OF SUPPORT GROUPS
Chapter Seventeen SOME SUGGESTIONS ABOUT GETTING HELP FROM A PROFESSIONAL
WE HELP YOU HELP YOURSELF
AVOID QUICK-FIX TEMPTATIONS
AVOID SUBCONSCIOUS SABOTAGE
THE PARALYSIS OF ANALYSIS
STAY FOCUSED ON THE PRESENT
PROGRESS MAY BE SLOW AND GRADUAL
REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS: BEHAVIOR AND EMOTIONS
DON’T EXPECT IMMEDIATE RESULTS
THE DOWNSIDE OF AN UPSWING
Epilogue REFLECTIONS AND DOORKNOB ISSUES