RELATIONSHIP PARADOX: THE SPIRITUAL QUEST FOR UNION AND FREEDOM

RELATIONSHIP PARADOX: THE SPIRITUAL QUEST FOR UNION AND FREEDOM

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA

DEDICATION

CONTENTS

PREFACE

Chapter 1: WE OFTEN WANT WHAT WE DON’T HAVE

WHAT IS LOVE?

WHAT IS RELATIONSHIP?

WHAT DOES FREEDOM HAVE TO DO WITH RELATIONSHIP?

Chapter 2: WHAT WE WANT IS OFTEN NOT WHAT WE NEED

HUMAN NEEDS

MISATTRIBUTION

FANTASY IS BETTER THAN REALITY

PURSUING WANTS, AS IF THEYARE NEEDS

Chapter 3: WE MUST BE ABLE TO BE HAPPY ALONE, BEFORE WE CAN BE HAPPY IN A RELATIONSHIP

THE CONTRAST ATTRACTIVENESS EFFECT

THE HEDONIC TREADMILL

RELATIONSHIPS DO NOT CAUSE HAPPINESS

HAPPINESS AND SATISFACTION

Chapter 4: WE MUST BE SELFISH TO BE SELF-LESS

WHAT TO DO: A WAY OF LIFE

PRO-RELATIONSHIP BEHAVIOR AND COMMITMENT

Chapter 5: WE MUST OFFER TRUST BEFORE IT HAS BEEN EARNED, BECAUSE TRUST CAN’T BE EARNED

PRO-RELATIONSHIP BEHAVIOR

Chapter 6: THE MORE WE WANT EQUITY IN THE RELATIONSHIP, THE LESS EQUITABLE IT WILL BE

SOCIAL EXCHANGE MODELS

EQUITY THEORY

INVESTMENT MODEL

INTERPERSONAL MODEL OF SEXUAL SATISFACTION

OUTCOME-INTERDEPENDENCE THEORY

RELATIONSHIPS MUST BE COMMUNAL

Chapter 7: WE WILL HURT THE ONE WE LOVE, AND THE ONE WE LOVE WILL HURT US

NEGOTIATION AND ACCOMMODATION

VIOLENCE

Chapter 8: WE MUST BE ABLE TO BE IN RELATIONSHIP AND MAINTAIN OUR FREEDOM

INTIMACY

Chapter 9: LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE ARE BUSY MAKING RELATIONSHIP PLANS

INFLUENCE OF ATTACHMENT ON RELATIONSHIPS

SELF-CONCEPT: A THEORY OF A THEORY

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

REFERENCES

INDEX